For this month’s minutes we have a lot of stress.
So my family has been sick. Every. Single. One. Of. Them. We’ve all gotten various bouts of the flu and have passed it back and forth like a ping pong ball. It’s disgraceful. But my dad also had surgery that was unexpected, so my February has been awful in terms of health. Like this house is a contamination zone. And having a loved one rushed to surgery is a harrowing experience. It really makes you re-evaluate what you’ve been doing. So for me, to help my dad recover, I put a lot of blog stuff on hold. I felt it was more important to spend time with him and do more around here. But, that meant a lot of stress for me. It was hard to hold all of my blog, myself, and my family together.
Then a whole monkey wrench got thrown into it. I got a job – a six month internship at a publishing house. This meant that I couldn’t include purchase links in my reviews, but also that I would be spending less time reading (and reviewing). This wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. I was trying to get a job for months, almost a year. But it just meant that I had to get things in order and tip top shape fast. So what did I do? I read a book a day until my job started so I could be ahead. I still am about two weeks ahead, but I’m not letting up. I need that time so that if life gets in the way again, I can breathe.
My mental health has taken a toll. I’ve been more sad, more stressed, and so more tired. My anxiety levels went through the roof. And I realized that I was incentivizing self care. I’d put it in my To Do list and it would just create more anxiety when I couldn’t get it done. I was making myself do it, but it wasn’t actually taking care of me. So it defeated the purpose. Now I have to re-evaluate how I feel and deal with self care. I’ve started by not writing things down and being more patient with myself in every aspect. But that’s tremendously difficult for me.