So I’ve had some interesting thoughts this month. First off, I’ve really been thinking about how I make sense of the concept of self care and how this relates to my blog. And secondly, I’ve been thinking about trying to take a step back from the blog, to review a little less, etc.
Self Care
Until now, I just sort of thought about self-care as something to tick off. It was a face mask, or painting my nails, or meditating. It was something I had to do, and I felt like I needed to write down. I incentivized it. Made it part of my planning routine. And so it ended up stressing me out even more. I’d stare at those empty check boxes and think – look, I can’t even self-care right. And at the time it kind of piled up on all the other things I was having trouble with – ruminating over my future, over my job, over everything really. June was kind of a rut and a mini-turning point for me. I really had to take those two weeks off in June to really figure out that I was unhappy with the way I was taking care of myself.
Then I realized I had to see self-care as a state of mind, a mentality. I had to see the whole process and picture. It wasn’t just about those little tasks to do, it was about the mindset that I will take care of myself. I had to see it like a mantra, an oath, a promise to myself. And then that sort of clicked. I was following through on the actions without the mentality behind it. So for me, self care wasn’t tasks to do so I could work more, it actually meant stepping away from work. It meant reading less, it meant stressing less over reviews, it meant re-discovering all the things I loved about blogging that got me into this.
Stepping Back
So in a lot of ways, I stepped back in June. I’ve tried to make a change in my life where I don’t utter these toxic thoughts. I don’t say:
- I should have read more
- I should have worked more
- I could have done more
I can think them. And think them I do. But I’m going to stop giving them the time of day, the physical space in my life after I utter them. The breath. Because I know I’m trying as hard as I can. As long as that is happening, I want to feel good about what I actually accomplish, not guilty about what I am not accomplishing. If you’ve noticed I might not always post three days a week on social media, I might read less, books might take longer to review. But it’s all part of this pledge to myself. I’m saying, “Hey. You’re important. Your happiness is important”. And that’s a step right?
Some days I do better than others. But it’s about unwinding a toxic mentality that may have been driving my ambition, but at what cost? I’m not even sure if anyone will notice these changes, but I’m trying.
I’m so proud of you! & I love you loads – look after yourself babygirl ♥️
awweee <333
I love the way you’re thinking about self care, I think it’s important. Also, I’ve taken many small blogging breaks and I always wind up missing my blog! But it is a challenge to get to that point where you feel ok with stepping back. Good luck, sounds like you’re on the right path
Yeah I was thinking about that the other day and when even I ‘could’ take a break 🙁 And I’m sure it’s even more difficult for you!!!
I love your discussion on self-care. I, too, entered a checklist in my bujo, thinking that doing all these things would make happy. Now, I don’t bother so much with it. I find self-care is an ‘in the moment’ kind of thing. There is no set time for it. I hope July is a happy month for you!
YES! I find it much more satisfactory if I self-care without writing it down. If I spur of the moment decide to do something good for myself I guess. Thank you!!! It’s been okay so far. What do you do for self-care?
Initially it was all about skin care because that’s what I read on many blogs..? but I didn’t find that satisfying enough. So now, self care for me includes yoga or the gym, singing, or Ghibli movies! What about you?
Ohhh I am a big skin care self care believer! But I need to get back into Yoga! I used to do it everyday and that felt good, but I can’t like…make it a habit…Now I’ve just been doing a lot of social events to keep myself balanced, but those are also kind of exhausting you know?
<3 Self care is SO important!! I totally agree that it should be more of a mindset than a task. I've also come to the point where I want to keep my blog fun and light, so I try not to stress over it. With how much I have going on, it certainly takes the back burner at times. Have a lovely July!
Yeah! I need to be more like that – I’m kind of seeing all my books and thinking, ‘shame on you for not reading’, but there’s no real hurry right?
What you’ve accomplished during this time of reflection is exactly what’s right for you. I learnt a long time ago the truth behind the saying ‘listen to your body’, and I don’t just mean the physical skin that we’re in. I mean top to toe, inside and out. It’s getting that balance between what we should be doing to attain our goals and what we actually achieve. And who’s to say that those goals are the right ones for us anyway? When my Dad died in his sleep 3 years ago he went to bed with his usual list of things to do the following day. Those things did eventually get done, but by someone else and much later. What I’m trying to say is that life is so short, we never know when our time here will end and so the best that we can hope for is that we make others, and by doing so, ourselves, happy.
Wow this message was so emotional! You’re absolutely right. I have been feeling like, ‘what will happen if I don’t do this’ and I realized I need to gain some perspective. To realize, that it’s probably 100% fine if it doesn’t happen
I so relate and love this post!! Looks so close to the one I just posted earlier today, actually.
I’m also struggling with that.. seems like I cannot just have a day and relax like the others. I MUST do something productive, I MUST go out of the house. If I dont, i end up paniquing and not feeling good; just because I took a day to sleep or to game. I do work hard at my job, but my brain just dont understand my need of having a day off ♀️ Which I really hope I can switch back to how it should be and be able to relax aaall I want without feeling guilty.
YES! Exactly. My brain thinks, “what is free time? you have so many things to do” It’s hard to figure out how to relax really with still ‘things to do’
I hope you can get into that mental space where self-care is a mentality. I struggle with that as well and with not pushing myself too much! Great post <3
Thanks!!! Yeah we can be each other’s self-care cheerleaders. <333
I really need to catch up with your blog. Great post, you are right 🙂 we are similar in this regard (I think you already know that xD)
I have actually been “slacking” in bat regard too. Maybe it’s because it’s summer – but I just stopped forcing myself to reply comments or blog hop when I don’t really want to. My blog stats are dropping – but at the same time, I sort of also don’t really care? Because I don’t have all the time in the world and I also need to relax. So I like this mindset of yours 🙂
Yeah and this month especially, I’m like yeah I could do more and more work, but I’m on a semi-vacation…so I should do things with people and friends and like..actually leave my apartment