But How Are You, Really unexpectedly tugged at my heart strings. I think Charlotte as a character was just a bit too close to home. Her feeling of having to put up this ‘illusion’ of how her life is going? That hit hard. Keep reading this book review of But How Are You, Really for my full thoughts.
Summary
Charlotte Thorne does not want to go back to Hein University. Her life postcollege isn’t what she expected—her career in media is stalled, her passion for drawing has fallen by the wayside, and she’s done a terrible job keeping in touch with her queer chosen family since graduation day. Willingly spend a full weekend with her incredibly successful classmates? Hard pass.
But when her demanding boss, tech journalist Roger Ludermore, is invited to give the commencement address at this year’s graduation—which falls on the same weekend as her five-year reunion—Charlotte has no choice but to return to campus.
The minute she steps foot on Hein property, the past comes crawling back in its glory and cringe: disco parties at the LGBTQIA+ program house, sleeping in a twin XL bed, and her chemistry with Reece Kreuger, the hockey player she rebounded with after a traumatic breakup. Suddenly the weekend Charlotte has dreaded for months feels like an opportunity to go back in time. Determined to have some fun, Charlotte dodges her best friend’s questions about her mental health, ignores her boss’s constant Slack messages, and tries to avoid the truth about why she ghosted Reece five years ago. But can she really outrun her past and get her life together in seventy-two hours?
Review
(Disclaimer: I received this book from the publisher. This has not impacted my review which is unbiased and honest.)
Class reunions would be my worst nightmare. I’m so thankful we haven’t done one. Because I’d 100% be like Charlotte. I totally understood her feeling of having to pretend. These illusions about how our lives are going, the social media edit, that comes up during a reunion. When we all talk about how great our life is going, when there doesn’t seem to a moment for vulnerability. And for Charlotte, she also has these deep seated moments of wondering if this career is even for her, if she’s moving on the right path. Talk about relatable?
Even more so, But How Are You, Really examines the feelings of exes and past memories. Of going back to a place which transports us to another time, another version of who we were. It all comes back at us and we’re at risk of falling into the whirlpool. All these fears, the people we once were, sink back into our mannerisms. For Charlotte though, will the sparks still fly between her and her ex? With fabulous banter, But How Are You, Really was a book that felt like the one I needed to read at the moment.
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It emphasizes the necessity of vulnerability. Of sparks being re-ignited, and the desperation, the urgent hope of asking someone to stay. It’s the challenge of a life to ask someone to stay. At the same time, But How Are You, Really also explores toxic relationships. Loves that rob the room of oxygen, that make us constantly guess our status. A relationship which overwrites who we are and how it takes forever to get back to who we are. To trust ourselves again.
Overall,
It’s a book I loved from start to finish. Don’t even get me started on how much I loved Charlotte’s relationship with her best friend! But How Are, Really explores how part of speaking up for ourselves is the belief that we don’t have to be treated like that. That we don’t always have to be fine. That we can let people help us, love us, be there for us. Find But How Are You, Really on Goodreads, Storygraph, Amazon, Bookshop.org, Blackwells, & Libro. fm.